정남규, 이 세상을 하직하다.

현정이 엄마의 한 맺힌 절규가 생생하다.

 

 "당신만 가면 나는 우째 살란말고~"

 

 

김해 정남규씨가 지난 6월 30일 오전 간암으로 세상을 떠나갔다.
유족으로 아내 이호현씨와 아들 정재훈, 딸 정현정, 정현영, 며느리 제갈유경, 사위 박정환, 민병환씨가 있다.

 

고인의 극락왕생을 기원합니다.

 

 

둘도 없는 친구 정남규씨가 세상을 떠났다는 비보를 받았다.
군불을 지피다 받은 하늘 무너지는 소식은 아궁이에서 피어나는 연기까지 더해 온통 눈물범벅을 만들었다.

시커먼 눈물 자국에 얼룩진 내 모습이 마치 저승사자 몰골이었다.

아침 일찍 일어나 텃밭의 상추를 씻어 차에 싣고, 일정이나 주머니사정은 생각 않고 무작정 출발했다.
고속 통행료 없는 해안 길을 돌고 돌아 목적지에 도착했으나, 차에서 내리다 남규의 환상을 보고 깜짝 놀랐다.

“형님! 오랜만입니더”라는 말에 그제사 남규 동생 경규씨 임을 알아 차렸다.
장례식장 부근에는 창원의 김의권, 변형주, 울산의 황성근씨 등 여러 명이 기다리고 있었고.

늦게는 부산의 신윤택, 마산의 강동수씨 내외까지 문상 와, 남규 덕에 옛 친구들을 두루 만날 수 있었다.

정남규는 20대 후반, 김해농협에 근무할 무렵 만난 오래된 친구다. 서로 조가 잘 맞는 친구라는 표현이 더 어울릴 것 같다.

같이 어울리다보면 시간가는 줄도 몰랐고, 어떤 때는 음악 듣고 노는 재미에 빠져 오늘만, 오늘만 하다 일주일을 무단결근한 적도 있었는데, 남규의 기지로 가짜 깁스까지 하는 헤프닝을 벌이기도 했다. 아마 그에 대한 숨겨진 이야기들을 모운다면 책 한 권은 족히 될 만한 분량이다. 이젠 친구들 술 좌석에서나 회자될 전설로 남았지만...
그는 매사에 지혜로워 내가 잘못한 일까지 감싸 안는 너그러움으로, 항상 곁에만 있어도 마음 든든한 그런 친구다.

사진을 시작하며 만남이 뜸해지긴 했지만, 경상도 촬영 길에는 꼭 그를 만났다. 주로 김의권씨가 사는 창원이나,

황성근씨가 있는 울산 '유혹' 등에서  만났으나, 가끔은  정선 만지산을  찾아 오기도 했다.

지난해에는 간에 이상이 생겨 좋아하는 술을 못 마신다는 이야기를 했으나, 간암 증세가 그처럼 심각한 줄은 미처 몰랐다.

그리고 보험을 탔으니 전국장터 프로젝트에 기름 값이라도 보태라며 50만원을 건네준 적도 있었다. 

어떻게 보면 제 목숨 값을 내 놓은 거나 마찬가지였다.

 

지난 1월 하순경 이강용씨 전시장에서 그를 다시 만났다.
“죽음 선택권”에 대한 이야기를 마치 남의 이야기처럼 꺼낸 것이었다.  식물인간 상태에 있는 환자의 존엄사는 물론,

의식이 있어도 오래 살 수 없는 고통 심한 환자들은 스스로 행복한 죽음을 맞을 수 있게 해 주어야 한다는 것이다.

존엄사가 어제 오늘의 논란은 아니지만, 돌이켜 생각해 보니 그 당시부터 간암에 의한 심한 통증이 있었다는 이야기였다.

두 내외만 알고 발설하지 않았으니 아무도 알 수가 없었던 것이다.

 

가족 사랑하지 않는 사람이 어디 있겠냐마는 그의 가족 사랑하는 마음은 유별나다.

잘 사는 자식들에게 짐 되고, 일 나가는 아내가 안스러워 병원 입원마저 마다 한 것이다.

그 심한 고통을  집에서 감내한 남규를 생각하면 가슴이 미어질 듯 아프다.

 

죽을 것을 예감이나 한 듯 남긴, 절절한 유서속의  슬픈 감나무 이야기도 궁금하다 .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              한

 

친구야! 어차피 한 번은 떠나야 할 길이라면 그냥 훌훌 털고 마음 편히 떠나거라.
그 곳에 가면 수진이도 종배도 있으니, 너 좋아하는 천상음악 들으며 재미있는 자리 한 번 만들어보렴.
뒤 따라 갈테니 푸대접이나 말고...